OK yall now i like my friends..theyre cool and understand me..to an extent. 

however, sometimes i feel like i need new (or more) friends...

NOW i know it might sound shallow or maybe even immature...but thats the way it is. 

im always more outspoken then my friends and more mature. 

im just different then they are and i often wish i had friends who fit me better. 

so i kinda just wrote this to get it off my chest..but if u have any thoughts just leave a comment! :) 

 I DONT KNOW BOUT YALL, BUT I THINK 2009 SUCKED!

a few very memorable stuff happened to me this year but for some reason when i look back on it, they don't stand out in my mind! like they don't hold a special place in me like i though they would!  it was all BLAH!!! 

plus, seems like people were dieing all year long! from the beginning to the end! 

lemme know what your year was like! and what you look forward to in 2010! 

Sometimes I feel like im going crazy,

I get the feeling that everythings not going to be okay.

Sometimes i wanna fall asleep and never wake up, 

The pain so much and so strong, that i don't want to live to see another day.

Tears! So many tears! It takes everything out of me, all my energy!

I cry so hard that my head starts to hurt and my eyes start to burn.

I think about the past and the present, and it kills me inside.

I think about all the reason why i should live . . . i think about all the reasons why i shouldn't.

I don't know what's guna happen,

I'm scared, worried, but im also fed up!!!

I have so much hate inside me.

Sometimes i just wanna scream . . . other times i wanna break something!

I want to talk to someone but i don't know who,

i don't even know if id have the strength to.

I hate memories!

Not just the bad ones, but the good ones too.

Because it hurts me to think that once i was happy . . . and now im not.

Who are you?

Who are you to take a part of my innocence? 

To use me as if i don't have any emotions,

For you to touch me without my willingness. 

As if your trying to please me, 

when your only trying to please yourself. 

Give me a reason why i shouldn't be upset, angry, and hurt. 

Give me a reason to justify what you did.

You made this world a darker, colder place for me,

because now you live in my memory.

Now i will never be the same.

I'm sure you feel really good about yourself now,

thinking you overpowered me, took control of me. 

But you only took control of me physically, 

because mentally you have made me better, wiser.

Remember - what doesn't kill me, makes me stronger. 

Yes! i had tears streaming down my face! 

but it could have been worse. 

I could have had blood streaming down from somewhere else. 

But it didn't go that far. 

It was not meant to happen, therefore i got my mothers phone call . . . telling me to come home. 

That was God's way of giving me another chance! 

There are some things I can't forget,

some things I can't forgive.

There are some things I wish I did, 

and some things I wish I didn't. 

The lies that I've told,

the secrets that i hold,

The pain that I endure, 

the memories that hurt.

The past hurts in the present, carries on into the future. 

I've had my chance to fall,

I've had it all. 

The things that I've been through,

the things that have not yet come true.

The Future!

The one thought on my mind,

that's why I gotta be on my grind. 

To have this kind of passion, 

this drive, this need for success, 

this hunger to strive. 

To have this amount of pride, 

to have this kind of mind, to  have this amount of strength. 

You would think its impossible! 

She walks through her day,

She cannot concentrate .

Her mind flying like a swarm of bees,

Can someone tell her what she is feeling please?

Thinking about the words that she said,

telling him that she can believe.

Scared that she might fall apart,

giving him her not yet broken heart, 

so fragile, so young, so new,

she had no idea what to do. 

Taking a chance, hoping it will last, 

knowing that time will go by fast.

Her heart beats lightly, running out of breath, 

thinking of him with each and every step. 

Thinking of the unknown, wanting to leave home, 

she has let go of her safe heart that she had kept,

waking up after she has slept,

what she did, she cannot regret.

To trust, to love, to let go, to believe him, 

she can never be what she had once been!

Ok so im the type of person who sees inspiration in a lot of different places. when i see other people living a good, happy, and fun life it inspires me to do whatever i can to achieve that same happiness. i mean, im young and i have so much time ahead of me, and theres so much that i can do. its like i have this empty canvas and i can paint whatever i want on it! 

my family inspires me also! knowing that i can give them whatever they want someday if i work hard and make a lot of money, really pushes me to think beyond and try to achieve what is far from their imagination! 

i can go on and on and on about where i get my inspiration from but ill stop here and just ask you: What Inspires You? How does it Inspire you?